Managing Change: Swimming Out with the Tide

We have all done it.  You’re visiting a young family that you haven’t seen in years.  When you finally lay eyes on the children your shocked exclamation sounds something like this, “Look at how you’ve grown!”  The funny thing is how truly surprised we are when we say it.  It’s as if the children were frozen in time from the last we’ve seen them and our minds couldn’t somehow comprehend how they might possibly grow or change.  

Now, we can laugh at it from a distance (and perhaps we should), because we all know that the children are going to change.  Yet somehow when we’re in that moment, we become infected with the frozen-in-time syndrome.  “Look at how you’ve grown!” If you really think about it, it wasn’t just the children who changed.  The whole family had changed.  You had changed.  It was just most apparent in the children.  

The reality is that change is the constant.  The question is not whether things will change.  The question is how we will adjust to the changes happening in and around us.  There is an old Thai proverb that says,

“At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish.”

Fish love to eat ants.  However, the time to eat ants is at high tide, which only lasts for a short while.  The fish who treat their meal like a permanent feast will soon become a feast themselves.  

There’s a reason why that Thai proverb lives to this day.  In a world of constant change, we desire permanence, especially when things are good.   Maybe it’s because change brings loss.  In fact, every change brings loss.  The fish who swims out of the shallows at low tide has lost some tasty ants.  The parent looks at an adult child and sees the loss of that little boy or girl.  This is not to say there is nothing gained in the change, just that we experience loss.  Sometimes that loss hurts, which is why so many of us naturally resist change.  

Maybe that’s why we long for permanence.  In the midst of so much loss, a touch of permanence can be our lifeline.  But what should we grasp onto?  If everything is changing, where do we find the permanence we seek?  Malachi has an answer… with a twist.

“… I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.” Malachi 3:6 (ESV)

God does not change.  His love for us does not change.  His truth and His order for the world has not changed, no matter how we protest.  We can confidently hold on to God and his word and his sacraments as constants in this crazy world.  

Yes, but what about this part about not being consumed? It’s simple.  When we hold on to the things of this world the way we should be holding on to God, we become ant food, so to say.  By placing our security in something so impermanent, we leave ourselves vulnerable to irreparable loss when the change finally happens.  How do we keep from being consumed?  Cling to the One who does not change and hold on for dear life.

Change has always been a reality in our lives and families.  To make it all the more interesting, God chose to place us in the world at a time of unbelievably rapid change.  This means we need to ask ourselves some hard questions, personally and as a church.  How do I cling to the unchanging love and truth of God?  How can I develop the kind of confidence in Him that steers me through the constant stormy changes?  What other things do I hang on to in the same way I should hang on to God?  Here’s a nice test for that one.  Imagine the things you value most in the world going away.  Would that loss destroy you?  If so, maybe you’re holding too tightly.  Only God deserves that kind of grip.  I’m not saying we don’t hold on to those things.  We just need to learn to love and appreciate the beautiful impermanent gifts of God while holding them loosely.  

Tomorrow will not be like today, but “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 (ESV)