Meeting people where they are – not where they “should be”

As the cultural paradigm in America shifts away from a “churched” culture, Christians are challenged to think in new ways about our assumptions.  Years ago in America, Christianity was a part of the moral fabric of our society.  You could basically assume everybody had a Christian background of some flavor.  When those assumptions were made they came with certain expectations.  O course, everybody knows the 10 Commandments, has said a creed or the Lord’s Prayer at some point and would react predictably to the appropriate guilt-trip, if applied.

Such assumptions no longer apply.

I’m convinced we live in a “post-church” culture.  The popular culture has become thoroughly secularized while the church largely behaves as if we are still the major influence on the culture.  This disconnect is frustrating for the church and also damaging to our witness as we insist on engaging the culture the way it “should be.”

Today’s culture has normalized sinful behavior that in years past would have caused most Christians to shudder.  Notice the word I used, “normalized.”  That means for people without a Christian background these behaviors are normal.  Their neighbors do these things.  Their friends do these things.  Their Christian friends don’t do these things because they’re weird.  These are real people in our families, our neighborhoods and our workplaces.  These are people who want to have real conversations with us about real life, if we’ll let them.

It is at this point we have a choice to make.  We can take the easy road and assume that they have a Christian background and rebelliously do what they do.  We approach them where they “should be,” assuming we’ll see guilt and repentance and then find ourselves helplessly shocked and dismayed when it’s not there.  Or perhaps they are repentant, but won’t leave that life, for whatever reason.  Maybe they’ve made some bad choices and simply have to live with them.  Maybe they’re so rocked with self-inflicted guilt that our assumptions of them only serve to heap more burdens on an already sin-weary creature of God.

For years we’ve treated people like this.  We don’t realize it, because we have the best of intentions.  We can’t see how they see us because we can’t break from our long-held assumptions.  We approach people where they “should be” rather than where they really are and we wonder why they won’t listen to us.

It’s because we’re not listening to them.

Tax collectors and sinners make good dinner companions.  Jesus shocked the Pharisees when he dined with the unsavory characters of their day.  He met them on their turf.  He walked into their houses.  They talked and he listened.  He did not condone their lifestyle.  He didn’t shun them either.  “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”  Our world is sick.  People are self-destructing and we can’t just assume they know why or how to get out.

We have to meet people where they are, wherever they are, and only after we’ve heard their story and felt their pain can we start the long journey to where they should be.  This is not the time for a gospel tract.  This is the time for a commitment that includes real compassion and Biblical truth-telling.  This is about giving of yourself for others and for the sake of the gospel.  This is seeing a life change before your eyes because you invested time and God worked through you.  This is relationship building so that Jesus can be clearly communicated to someone who may know a lot of guys named Jesus, just not the one from the Bible.  

Christian, change your assumptions and you might just change a life.