A journal of my 10 week sabbatical to write the curriculum of the Harvest Incubator for Missions from january 12 – March 22, 2015.

Sabbati-Blog Day 70: Creating a Memory

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The final day of my sabbatical has arrived.  Tomorrow morning will be like so many other Mondays at Bethel Lutheran Church.  We’ll have a staff meeting.  I’ll work on some worship services.  I’ll correspond with all sorts of people about all sorts of things.  Tomorrow will be very different too.  So many Mondays I would wake up with an overwhelmed feeling before I even got out of bed.  I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders… or at least the weight of the church.  Mondays would often come and go with more expectations unmet than met.  I can’t approach my Mondays that way any more.   Those first few moments of the day are precious and should be filled with thanksgiving and hope instead of anxiety.  It’s a new day of God’s grace!  He doesn’t have to give it to us… but he does.  While I’m ready to come off the bench, the weight of the church does not rest on my shoulders.  Watching our church go on just fine without me for 10 weeks has shown me that!  Expectations?  God has blown away so many of my expectations in the last few months.  He truly does exceed all that we can ask or imagine.

They say you create memories while you sleep.  In a strange way, rest coalesces our experiences into things that can endure on the inside.  We carry those memories into the world around us and use them to do things, ordinary and extraordinary.  Now, I can’t say that I’ve been sleeping away my sabbatical, but I can say that this time of rest has given me perspective on what God has created and how he shows his love through his people as we follow Jesus together.  It’s like these things are burned in my memory.  They are inescapable fact.  My world is now seen through this lens and it’s never been clearer.  IMG_2921

On the 7th day of creation God rested.  He looked back on his perfect, thoroughly interdependent creation and it was very good.  Something amazing happens to us when we rest.  We remember what it all looked like before sin and selfishness corrupted God’s perfect creation.  When we rest we are somehow reconnected with the divine intention for us and all creation.  It’s like we’re sitting there with God on the 7th day of creation and together taking in the view of the “very good.”  Without rest, we forget.  Without rest, we become myopic and see only ourselves or how the world just doesn’t want to work together.  Without rest, we busy ourselves creating, when we should be sitting back, admiring the creation with the One who made it so very good.

Our Mondays come, and we get back to work for our little season.  If we’ve rested, we have the memory of Gods perfect interdependent creation in mind.  We see our place in God’s creation and happily play our part.  We work hard, knowing that others rely on us and we joyfully rely on them.  We rejoice every time we see a glimpse of God’s creation working as it should.

My Monday comes tomorrow.

Thank you God, for slowing me down and making a memory.  I won’t forget.

Sabbati-blog Day 67: Coming off the Bench

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It’s hard to believe my sabbatical is almost over.  I had every intention of writing regularly on this blog to keep all of you up to date with my thoughts and progress.  However, progress on my project required a lot more of my attention, so I dedicated it there instead of here.  Suffice it to say this has been a life-changing experience.  I have had the chance to spend some serious time in God’s word and in prayer.  I have visited many different churches and met some amazing people.  I was blessed to attend the National Prayer Breakfast and met more amazing people!  I even had the chance to write a large amount of the curriculum for the Harvest Incubator for Mission and create many Agape Sticks videos.

Around the 6th week of my sabbatical I felt like I was missing something.  I really began to long for my family.  Not my family at home – I had lots of quality time with them!  I missed my church.  I missed my brothers and my sisters.  I missed the camaraderie.  I missed the ups and downs of living in community with people.  As much as I enjoyed the time away to focus and grow, I ended up feeling alone.  Before I left, I worked hard so that the congregation wouldn’t need me during my time away.  What I didn’t realize was how much I needed them.  Now I do.  348049889_1dd6bbf49e_b

We need each other.  I have found that from the beginning of creation, God intended us to be interdependent, where everyone plays their part and together can do more than anyone can do alone.  It’s not just that I miss playing my part, I miss being in the game where we all play our parts together.  It’s like I’ve been sitting on the bench and the team played on without me.  Now, I’m ready to get back in the game.  But the time away has made me rethink my role on the team.  People talk about pastors like they are the coach of the team or the star player.  Not so.  Jesus owns the team, Jesus leads the team, and Jesus is the star player.  I am just a role player.  All of us are.  And you know what, as a pastor, it’s awesome to be able to sit on the bench for a while, get a breather, and still have the team play well without me.  Some would say they’ve been playing even better!  But my bench warming days are soon over.  It will be great to get some playing time again!

I love this team!

Sabbati-blog Day 24: Defending our President

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I didn’t sleep much Wednesday night before the National Prayer Breakfast.  I just had the feeling something special was going to happen the next day.  Did it ever.

It was an amazing day.  I was in the overflow room for the breakfast, and as it turns out we had eggs and potatoes while the ballroom had some bagel or something.  I’ll take the gluten free breakfast!  I sat with some wonderful people and experienced what was happening in the ballroom next door from a nice big screen near our table.  The prayers focused on love for our neighbors, especially the poor.   Most were prayed in the name of Jesus.  They were beautiful.  Darrel Waltrip gave a very personal and impassioned testimony of his life from arrogance to belief.  Frequently, he spoke of getting down from his “high horse.”  I was inspired and encouraged by his boldness to speak of matters of heaven and hell with the group, especially with many nonbelievers in the room.

IMG_2615Immediately following Mr. Waltrip, the President of the United States addressed the crowd.  He spoke eloquently of the evils that can arise out of misinterpretations of our religious beliefs and centered on the need for humility in all our dealings with others.  I must admit, I was surprised how much I liked the President’s speech.  While I may not agree with many of his policies, I felt that he made some important points during the speech and captured the essence of the gathering in his remarks.

The rest of the day was filled with breakout seminars and meals in the ballroom.  It was overwhelming.  At lunch we heard a message from King Abdullah II of Jordan through his ambassador to the US.  I was encouraged to hear such a beautiful message of love for others through this Muslim king.  At dinner we heard Manny Pacquiao speak frankly about his rise from the dumps of the Philippines to international stardom in boxing, and from a life of self indulgence to a life sold out for Jesus.  Wow.

After a night of Ethiopian delicacies with our friend Girma, it was time to check in with my wife before my head hit the pillow.  I asked her if the prayer breakfast had made any news.  (The President had twice helped out with a misbehaving stand behind the podium.  It was a humble and humorous gesture that I thought would get some mention.)  I was shocked and dismayed when my wife told me that all the headlines were about the President equating ISIS to the Crusades.  What?  The media queued in on that?!

I will admit I have never come to the defense of our President, not that he needs my help, but I must do so now.  This line of argument against the President’s remarks totally disregards the overall message of his speech and actually embodies the kind of pride and moral superiority that the President spoke against in the rest of his speech.

In a nutshell, here’s my takeaway from the President’s speech.  If we wish to fight violence of any form which is justified in the name of religion, we must do so in humility, knowing that, given the right circumstances, we could be the ones perverting our faith to justify violence or cruelty.  We submit to God and to his teachings in humility.  Moral superiority is not a right, nor a status based on what group we belong to, but merely a reflection of the God of love that we serve.  These aren’t my ideas, they came right from the President’s speech.  Please, if you’ve made it this far in this blog post read what the President said, considering the context of the breakfast that I gave you earlier.

This excerpt comes right after the President had just described many evils being done in the name of religion.

So how do we, as people of faith, reconcile these realities — the profound good, the strength, the tenacity, the compassion and love that can flow from all of our faiths, operating alongside those who seek to hijack religious for their own murderous ends?

Humanity has been grappling with these questions throughout human history.  And lest we get on our high horse and think this is unique to some other place, remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible deeds in the name of Christ.  In our home country, slavery and Jim Crow all too often was justified in the name of Christ.  Michelle and I returned from India — an incredible, beautiful country, full of magnificent diversity — but a place where, in past years, religious faiths of all types have, on occasion, been targeted by other peoples of faith, simply due to their heritage and their beliefs — acts of intolerance that would have shocked Gandhiji, the person who helped to liberate that nation.

So this is not unique to one group or one religion.  There is a tendency in us, a sinful tendency that can pervert and distort our faith.  In today’s world, when hate groups have their own Twitter accounts and bigotry can fester in hidden places in cyberspace, it can be even harder to counteract such intolerance. But God compels us to try.  And in this mission, I believe there are a few principles that can guide us, particularly those of us who profess to believe.

And, first, we should start with some basic humility.  I believe that the starting point of faith is some doubt — not being so full of yourself and so confident that you are right and that God speaks only to us, and doesn’t speak to others, that God only cares about us and doesn’t care about others, that somehow we alone are in possession of the truth.

Our job is not to ask that God respond to our notion of truth — our job is to be true to Him, His word, and His commandments.  And we should assume humbly that we’re confused and don’t always know what we’re doing and we’re staggering and stumbling towards Him, and have some humility in that process.  And that means we have to speak up against those who would misuse His name to justify oppression, or violence, or hatred with that fierce certainty.  No God condones terror.  No grievance justifies the taking of innocent lives, or the oppression of those who are weaker or fewer in number.

And so, as people of faith, we are summoned to push back against those who try to distort our religion — any religion — for their own nihilistic ends.  And here at home and around the world, we will constantly reaffirm that fundamental freedom — freedom of religion — the right to practice our faith how we choose, to change our faith if we choose, to practice no faith at all if we choose, and to do so free of persecution and fear and discrimination.

I preach sermons nearly every Sunday (when I’m not on sabbatical).  The President’s speech is roughly the length of one of my sermons.  I would be mortified if the press wanted to take one phrase of each sermon and make a scandal out of it.  They would have a hey day.  I can only imagine the things the world would think I had said, when it wasn’t that way at all.  I would be fighting a losing battle, much like the President does, where every word is twisted according to the bias of the reporter.  I know I would get to a point where I wouldn’t want to open my mouth at all, but even then the silence would be spun to mean… something.

At the end of the day, I am left humbled.  I have too often believed reporting that scandalized another person.  I admit, I did not take the time to investigate before passing judgment.  Often these judgments bring me to the edge of hate, a dangerous precipice that leads ultimately to violent extremism.  I repent.  Thank you Mr. President for talking me down from that ledge, no thanks to our media who brought the rest of the country to take my place.

If you would like the full experience, I invite you to read the entire speech here, or view the speech here.

Sabbati-blog Day 23: The Cohesive Power of Love, Even in DC

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God works in mysterious ways. The moment you think you have him figured out, he sends an experience that humbles and encourages you leaving you in awe.

A couple short months ago I was invited to join the Minnesota delegation to the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington DC. I was a late addition, invited to join the group because of the work I am doing on this discipleship curriculum.  In truth, I was just connected to the right people.  Apparently the group was centered around those who are training the next generation of Christian leaders. I guess in a way that’s me… at least I hope so.

I couldn’t escape a feeling of inadequacy when looking at the list of people from our state who would gather. Leaders of significant ministries, schools and businesses were coming… and then there was me. I figured God had me on this trip for a reason, and I would go in with an openness to his leading. Maybe some of their ministry mojo would rub off on me. At the very least it would be cool to be there.

imageWhen we gathered to introduce ourselves, I was amazed at the various gifts and talents God had placed in one room. Not just that, but stories of self-sacrifice for others came one after another as I got to know these people. I found myself trying to encourage everyone I met and was encouraged in the process. As we continued to get to know each other, a bond of love formed deep within the group. Jesus said that people would recognize who his followers were by how they loved each other. Even though we were all so different and many of us had never met before this trip, the love of Jesus was present and powerful.

I found it ironic that I had to travel to Washington DC, a city which seems to epitomize division and partisanship, to find the cohesive power of love. Not only did I find it in my group, but I found it when I saw Democratic and Republican congressmen and women who stood together on stage and humbly expressed love for one another in the name of Jesus. Once per week a relatively small group, one from the Senate and one from the House, puts politics aside to pray together. I saw it in their faces how much that meant to them. It shined like a bright light in the midst of a divisive darkness and it gave me hope.

I am left with this passage from Hebrews on my heart.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:23-25 (ESV)

Sabbati-Blog Day 17: An Unexpected Answer to an Unexpected Prayer

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A child’s first steps are the most difficult.  After that, walking comes easier.  Riding a bike gets better after you find out how to stop in an upright position.  Writing curriculum for a discipleship process gets easier once you get the first lesson written.  Well, I was still crashing and I needed to hit my stride… fast.

God knew that.

So, it’s Thursday and my wife works on Thursdays so I’m on kid duty.  Three boys off to school, one to day care and then off to the coffee shop to write.  It was a little crazy getting out of the house, but that’s pretty normal.  We’re driving to school and I feel the need to ask my boys to pray for me, that God would give me the the words to write.  So I ask my boys, oldest to youngest, “Josiah, will you pray for me?”  “Sure Daddy.”  “Daniel, will you pray for me today?”  “Ok, Daddy.”  “Elijah, how about you?” “Yes, yes, yes!”  “Ok, Samuel, will you pray for Daddy today?”  My 3 year old couldn’t wait.  “Dear Jesus, thank you for today.  Help Daddy with his writing and amen.”  We were amused and wondered aloud who would be the next to pray.  No one volunteered.

imageSoon we were at the school and the unloading of children commensed.  Suddenly, Samuel pipes up.  “Daddy we need to go home and get your wallet!” “No, child, of course I have my…”  It wasn’t there.  “Samuel, how did you know I didn’t have my wallet?”  “I lost my phone, you lost your wallet!”  (We gave him a toy phone for Christmas.)  How could Samuel have noticed my missing wallet?  It’s crazy getting out of the house, and my dresser is too tall for him to see my wallet there.  Then I thought of his prayer.  I was headed to the coffee shop to write, but without my wallet I would have had to double back home embarrassed and angry.  It would have thrown my whole morning off.  God had just answered the prayer of my little 3 year old.  Wow.

Home was on the way to daycare and there it was, right on my dresser.  I dropped Samuel off and headed to the coffee shop, bewildered and in awe.  By chance I met a good friend there and we chatted for a bit.  Then it was time to write.  I thanked God for answered prayer and got to it.  The words seemed to fall right out of me.  I spent the whole day there and after a lot of herbal tea, a draft of lesson one was finished.  Praise God.

I used to be such a skeptic when people told me stories like this.  I’m not so skeptical any more.  God does stuff like this.  The only one who prayed for me that day was my 3 year old.  I hadn’t even prayed.  I was going to wait until I got to the coffee shop.  My 3 year old hasn’t learned the art of promising to pray for people and promptly forgetting in our consuming sea of self-concerns.  Perhaps it’s an art we should forget.  I’ll give it a try.

Thank you God for children who show us childlike faith by just being who they are.  Teach us pray like Samuel did.  Thank you for the words you gave me that day, and for miraculously showing me to my wallet, through an unexpected answer to an unexpected prayer.  Amen.

Sabbati-blog Day 14: Ready or Not… Write!

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For the last two weeks I have enjoyed the opportunity to dive into the Bible, mostly in Matthew, to see the inner workings of disicpleship.  How do we follow Jesus?  How did Jesus make disciples?  What are the obsticles to discipleship?  The things I uncover seem so new at times, and yet they are ancient, even to the very beginning of existence.  I feel like the scribe Jesus speaks of in Matthew 13:52.

“Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house, who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.”

These is something strangely rejuvinating about uncovering such treasure.  I could spend my entire sabbatical studying, revealing, discovering and not write a word.  But I have been commissioned to write a discipleship curriculum.  This scribe trained for the kingdom of heaven needs to bring out the new/old treasures for others to experience.  Therefore, I must write.

I gave myself two weeks for my background study.  Today is day 14.  Time has run out.  Ready or not… write!  However, imageI find myself with a strange feeling on the precipice of authorship.  I’m not ready.  I need to study more.  I need to consult more commentaries.  I need to talk to more experts.  Then I’ll be ready.

No I don’t.

Jesus’ disciples dropped their nets and a miraculous catch of fish to follow Jesus.  They could have come up with a lot of excuses to wait.  The rich young man was very ready to follow laws that made him feel self-justified, but when Jesus asked him to give away his treasure, he walked away from the real treasure.  This isn’t ultimately my treasure.  It’s God’s, and I’m only a steward of it.  The treasure won’t multiply if I bury it in the gaping hole of my insecurities.  Yes, it’s impossible for me.  But nothing is impossible with God.

God has set aside this time for me to gather his truth for disciples to be made for him.  So I will write.  Ready or not.

Sabbati-blog Days 4 & 5: Falling in Love All Over Again

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The first few days of my sabbatical left me feeling dazed, confused and inadequate.  By most standards, this wasn’t the ideal start to a time of rest, study and creativity.  I guess I just needed to get it out of my system… or maybe into my system.   Dazed, confused and inadequate are pretty good descriptions of Jesus’ disciples before he empowered them to be the Kingdom of Heaven on earth through His death and resurrection.  The worldly things they loved lost their sheen.  They could no longer depend on themselves alone; they had to depend on Jesus and those around them.  They saw their frailties and how God would work powerfully through the humble and weak.  They had to lose thier lives to gain them in Jesus.

Days 4 and 5 of my sabbatical were amazing.  Humbly, I dialed into the book of Matthew and rediscovered why I’m doing all this.  I’m in love.  Now, don’t go and send a note to my wife to warn her.  She knows all about this love.  Love is at the core of it all!  Not the emotional, fickle, self-gratifying love, but a radically others-focused sacrifical love.  God is love and he God created this perfect place because he loves us.  Love is the image of God!  But ever since, this world is not so lovely any more.  Sin, death and the power of the devil have captured our world and our hearts, turning us inward and holding us in bondage to their will.  The mission of God is to restore creation.  God wants his perfect world back, not fimageor his sake, but for ours.  The entire story of humanity is the story of God saving us from our willful captivity by his love and grace, ultimately through Jesus, the Son of God, Creation Embodied, Love Incarnate.

Truly amazing things happen when we approach life and the scriptures from the perspective of new creation.  To follow Jesus is to follow Creation Embodied, the one who breaks the bond of sin, death and the devil by his death and resurrection.  He shows us the way by going there first.  We follow him into the Trinitarian waters of baptism, into the desert of temptation and onto a mountain where he teaches us the ways of the Kingdom of New Creation.   We, the church, live that new creation in the midst of the old creation by grace alone.  We witness to God’s grace by showing grace, by shining the light into the darkness.  We can abandon all and risk all and love all because we will be given all at the end, when Jesus returns and His resurrection becomes our resurrection and there will no more sin, death or the power of the devil.  Creation restored.  Mission accomplished.

Yes, I’m in love.

Sabbati-Blog Day 3: The Parking Ticket

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Today I misread the parking signs around Grand Avenue over lunch and left with an obligatory contribution to the City of St. Paul.  A parking ticket.  I was careless.  I was in a hurry.  I deserved it.  The police officer explained that the people who live in the apartments on either side of the street have nowhere else to park.  I had taken their spot.  I had parked myself where I didn’t belong.

IMG_2547I spent the rest of the day parked in the basement of Concordia University’s library among students of higher education.  I was also surrounded by shelves full of books written by people smarter than me.  Each author felt they had something to contribute… strangely enough, so do I.  That’s why I took this sabbatical.  I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t belong, that at any moment a librarian would hand out a smart person library parking ticket.  Imposter!

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.  – 1 Corinthians 1:25 

I’ll just have to rely on God’s wisdom above my own.  I can’t pretend to have anything else and… I’m ok with that.  If I’m going to be a fool, let me be a fool for Christ.  If I’m going to see success, then I will boast in the Lord.  And if I’m going to park around Grand Avenue, I’m going to read the signs!

Sabbati-blog Day 1: Dazed and Confused

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I have a love-hate relationship with routine.  In one sense, I love it.  Routines help us get things done.  In another sense, I don’t love it.  Routines have to be done again, and again, and again.  That’s what makes them routine… and also mundane.  Add a few years and you have a genuine rut.

Today the highly developed routines of 9 years of pastoral minstry just evaporated.  Poof.  Gone.  Day one of a 10 week sabbatical was upon me.  All the routine (and sometimes mundane) pastoral duties at Bethel Lutheran Church are being handled by other people for a while.  Weird.

There was a moment this morning when it all hit me.  Our staff meetings at Bethel are lively and quite productive.  With an African Assistant Pastor, a Millennial Director of Christian Outreach and an ultra-organized Secretary we have a good time.  Today, during our routine staff meeting, I sat in silence at my dining room table.  Dazed and confused.

I had been given a chance to rest… but I didn’t know how.image

So I prayed.

As I prayed I felt a strange peace wash over me.  My rest is in Him… alone.  My lack of routine had unsettled me, broken me out of my rut and plopped me into a place of freedom and fear.  I had been too comfortable in my routine and I couldn’t recognize it until I was free of it.  Well, I guess I’ll just have to rely on Jesus and follow him, even if I’m not sure where he’s taking me.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

Coming out of my stupor, God put me to work.  A little of this, a bit of that.  It was a productive day, just not routine.  I have a feeling the only routine I’ll have for a while may be this “sabbati-blog.”  So, I’ll do my best to update here regularly.  I definitely have some adventures ahead over these 10 weeks of rest.  I have been asked by LINC – Twin Cities to write a discipleship curriculum for their new Harvest Incubator for Mission.  For more on that read my last post.  It’s really exciting stuff.  I suspect God will be revealing a lot to me in the process and I’ll share that here.  I’ll be making videos of a simple illustrative method called Agape Sticks.  I’ll post some videos here as I make them.  I’ve also been invited to the National Prayer Breakfast on February 5th in Washington DC.  That will be interesting!

So, follow along as I say goodbye to the rut and hello to sabbatical, even if I am a little dazed and confused!

A Sabbatical?

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The year was 2009, and I can remember the meeting vividly.  The Leadership Team of our congregation passed a sabbatical policy for called staff.  I felt it was a nice gesture but honestly had no intention of using it.  I love my job.  It doesn’t get much better than walking with people through the ups and downs of life and pointing them to Jesus.  It’s awesome to see God at work in and through people, to see lives transformed along Jesus’ narrow way and God’s grace shared with others.  I love telling people the good news of Jesus’ death and resurrection for forgiveness and new life!  I love my job… which is exactly why I’m taking a sabbatical.  You see, God has allowed us to take what we do here and multiply it.

If you’ve followed me or my articles at all, you have found that I’ve focused a lot on the  Beatitudes from Matthew 5, baptismal life, the Trinity, the dangers of mammon and the example of the first church.  You may have also seen that I like to use nifty little stick figures and arrows to illustrate all this.  Jesus has already given us the framework to understand, apply and multiply his teachings.  It’s already so simple!  It’s already so memorable!  Jesus’ teachings binds our salvation together with our daily life into a radically different existence which is so uniquely and undeniably Christian.  This is what changed the world!  We need it again.  My humble prayer has been that God would allow me to do my small part to nurture a generation of Christian leaders who will keep it all about Jesus.

It seems my prayers are being answered.  I have been asked by LINC – Twin Cities to incorporate our discipleship emphases at Bethel into a yearlong discipleship training process called the Harvest Incubator for Missions.  It’s an exciting opportunity to infuse Jesus’ teachings into a new generation of church leaders from all over the world who live right here in our city.  I have the privilege of designing and writing a large part of the curriculum that will be used for the process.  I can’t do justice to a project like this while performing my duties as pastor.  Yet, I feel strongly that it is God’s call to work on this project.  So, I did something I never thought I’d do.  I asked for a sabbatical.  On December 14, 2014 the members of Bethel Lutheran Church granted me a 10 week sabbatical beginning on January 12, 2015.  I know a sabbatical is supposed to be rest, but I can’t wait to get to work!

What I would like to request of all of you is prayer.  Please pray for me.  The work of this sabbatical is no small undertaking and I do not underestimate my need for God’s strength and wisdom to supersede my own.  I also hope to rest, recharge and visit other parts of God’s Kingdom to see what He’s up to.  Please also pray for Bethel Lutheran Church.  It is healthy for the body of Christ to exercise some “body parts” that have been operated by others.  It makes us stronger and more united.  It’s also not the easiest thing to do.  Our God is good.  By his grace we can all rest in Him.